From Angry Male to Tolerant
The Life of Peter
Series: Rise Up O Men of God
1. One of the complaints single women make…There are just too many angry men out there.
they often say…
really like this guy, but at times his anger scares me.
can be two persons – one calm and gentle, the other upset and controlling.
don’t want to marry someone just like my Dad (or last boyfriend or husband).
3. What they mean…I
want to meet an emotionally safe man that is consistently kind to me.
From that time on Jesus began to explain to his
disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of
the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be
killed and on the third day be raised to life. Peter took him aside and began
to rebuke him. “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me,
Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of
God, but merely human concerns.”
Matthew 16: 21-23
Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it and
struck the high priest’s servant, cutting off his right ear. (The servant’s
name was Malchus.) Jesus commanded Peter, “Put your sword away! Shall I
not drink the cup the Father has given me?” John 18:10-11
After a little while, those standing there went up
to Peter and said, “Surely you are one of them; your accent gives you away.”
Then he began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know the man!”
Matthew 26: 73-74
B. Characteristics of the Angry Male
1. They attempt to control people and
events with their anger.
2. They have problems with impulse
3. They mask their fear and insecurities
4. They often go after the innocent.
5. They shoot first and aim later.
6. Their anger can spill into violence.
miss the larger picture of what is really happening in the world.
leave it to others to clean up the mess they create with their outbursts.
9. They say things they will later truly
10. They end up serving the Wrong Side.Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but
the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them,
“Friends, haven’t you any fish?” “No,” they answered. He said, “Throw your net
on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were
unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.
Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter,
“It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he
wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into
the water… When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish
on it, and some bread.
Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you
have just caught.” So Simon Peter climbed back into the boat and dragged the
net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was
not torn. Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.”
When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon
Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he
said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus
said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know
that I love you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time
he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because
Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all
things; you know that I love you.” Then he said to him, “Follow me!” John 21: 4-17
C. How an angry heart changes…
1. Jesus comes looking for us even if we
don’t recognize it.
2. He calls us His “friend” even if we
have acted like His enemy.
we are honest we admit our way of doing things has resulted in utter failure.
4. Jesus uses kindness to reach our
5. God invites us join His inner circle of
gently shows us our anger is not the real issue, it is our misplaced love.
offers us a way to take back all we have done or said in the heat of anger.
gives us a new task – to feed His sheep rather than feed on them.
D. Our biggest obstacles…
1. Anger is caused by being out of right
relationship with God.
results from the hurt, pain, and frustration unresolved in our hearts.
is the culturally accepted way of men expressing their inner sadness.
E. Our excuses for anger…
1. It’s just part of my culture.
2. I’m not angry I’m just outspoken.
3. If I’m not strong I’ll get walked all
4. I get angry because you make me angry.
5. My dad (or mom) was that way and I
F. God’s answer to our excuses…
some sins that run in families and its called generational bondage.
2. We are to change our culture rather
than let our change us.
3. We can say anything that needs to be
said with kindness an respect.
strength is measured by self-control rather than our aggressiveness.
one ever makes us sin, committing sin is a choice we always make ourselves.
6. Parents are to encourage their children
not embitter them.
G. The surprising opposite of anger…Tolerance.
1. What is tolerance? It is to be
“accepting, patient, humane.”
Johnson Temperamental Analysis © 1966
Dictionary definition of “tolerance”
a. a capacity to endure pain or hardship : endurance, fortitude, stamina
b. sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing
from or conflicting with one's own
c. the act of allowing something : toleration
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be
sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil
with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing,
because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For,
“Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and
their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they
must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous
and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against
those who do evil.” 1 Peter 3: 8-9
H. Steps to freedom from anger…
1. Admit the true source of your ungodly
anger – pride and self-focus.
2. Humble yourself before God and others
and ask their forgiveness.
3. Ask God to fill you with His Holy
Spirit and take control of your life.
rather than react to others with acceptance, patience and humanity.
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult.
On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so
that you may inherit a blessing. For, “Whoever would love life and see good
days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They
must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.
1 Peter 3: 9-11
I. How will you know you are tolerant?
1. You won’t be interested in payback.
2. You will bless rather than curse others
even when they provoke you.
3. You will receive unexpected blessings.
4. You will start to love life.
5. You will hold your tongue.
6. You will bring peace to others.
Jesus said, “…Very truly I tell you (Peter), when
you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you
are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and
lead you where you do not want to go.” Jesus said this to indicate the kind of
death by which Peter would glorify God. John 21: 17-18
J. How did Peter die?
1. Question: I have heard that Peter was crucified upside
2. Response: The
tradition that he was crucified on an inverted cross is first found in
Eusebius…St. Jerome further records the tradition that this was Peter's request
(so as to leave our Lord's death distinctive from his). http://ichthys.com/mail-peter.htm
The same man who once
rebuked Jesus, shouted curses at those who asked if he was a disciple, and
tried to kill a man with his sword, now asked to be crucified upside down
rather than draw attention away from the Cross of Christ. God changed an angry
man into an accepting, patient and humane example for us all.
Sample Marriage Minutes:
The Real Reason Sexual Sin is Wrong
-Some people think it's that the Bible forbids certain types of sexual behavior to take the fun out of life.
- The real reason sexual sin is wrong is that it distorts the image of marriage found in Christ and the Church.
- That pre-marital sex is wrong because it teaches Christ would be intimate with His Church without commitment.
- Adultery is wrong because it teaches Christ would be unfaithful to His Church.
- Pornography is wrong because it teaches Christ seek intimate knowledge of someone other than His Church.
That our guide to what is truly right is if it truthfully reflects the image of Christ and His Church.
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his
wife, and the two will become one flesh. 'This is a profound
mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church." Ephesians 5:31-32
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